Demonheart
by Seneti
Summary: Sesshomaru's thoughts about Rin. Rating for... uh... don't know, just to be safe.


Demonheart  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Inu Yasha, the plot, the characters, etc.  
  
A.N.: My first Inu Yasha fanfiction. Unfortunately I've only seen the first season, so I got to take that for the basic elements. Besides: I'm German, so please don't count spelling or grammar mistakes.

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Cold winds rushed through the leaves, as the campfire finally went out . The girl next to him cuddled closer to the fur coat he always wore, while he himself didn't really feel the cold. A real demon never felt anything, but... He glanced at the starlit sky, whispering her name.  
  
"_Rin... Such a short name... as small and ordinary as you yourself... but, still... I know you're just a human child, like all the other ones. Humans are weak. Weak and silly creatures. __They are nothing but useless, foolish cowards. They are not worth living.  
  
Did I call you "ordinary"? It was a lie. You may look like a normal human being... but you aren't.  
  
I've already noticed that the first time we met. I can remember your look, when you found me – it haunted me for days. What was that expression in your eyes? Fear? Shyness? Curiosity? I still wonder, but I don't dare asking. I don't even know why I'd like to know it. It's past – done – it wouldn't change anything, would it_?"  
  
His amber eyes focused the girl again. She was now totally curled up into his fur coat and slept soundly.  
  
"_But maybe you just felt nothing. Sounds odd, but it wouldn't have been the only time.  
  
It just started with the day we first met. You knew what I am – I showed you – but you didn't care. A little later, you came back. If there had been any fear before, it had vanished. The only feeling I noticed within you, was some kind of disappointment and that's none of the emotions that only weaken humans... it weakens demons, too, so how could I reproach you with that?  
  
Then you returned with that bumps and scratches in your face. I didn't show you, but inside, I was shocked. I tried to avoid the question of how you got beaten up like that and by who. I tried to cover that strange feeling of sadness with my pride... but in the end, I just couldn't help it. And then you smiled at me – the second shock that day. There were no regrets, no fear, no anger – just your smile between all the bumps. You were happy, although you didn't say a word. And at that moment I wondered if you probably even weren't able to speak. Happiness... yeah, we demons know that one, too, but we don't know regrets or fear... you don't know them.  
  
Honestly, I was glad to finally be able to walk again and I thought I could leave that place and get rid of that picture of yours in my head. For the last days I had depended on you and I was quite happy to regain my independence, but then I smelled your blood.  
  
A strange feeling rose within me – something I had never felt before. It was slight, but creepy. It even send shivers down my spine. Was that fear? No, a demon can't feel something like fear. Not a demon like me and not because of something worthless like a human child. But when I reached the scene, I felt something crack inside me.  
  
I didn't tell Jaken, but I tried to consider it as a chance to put Tensaiga to the test... and not as the desperate try to save your life. I was lying again... Yes, Rin, I was feeling like I owed you something and I was glad to see you smiling at me again – risen from the dead. I felt happy and relieved, but I didn't dare showing it, so I just walked away.  
  
Actually, I was constantly smiling, when I realized that you followed me. I smiled to myself, although I doubted you would be able to follow me for more than just a few hours. Humans are weak, I thought, they can never catch up with a demon. But you taught me better.  
  
During the next days, I finally found out your name: Rin. And you started to "live your new role". I had never told you to become a servant of mine, but I somehow still have the feeling you're trying to even be better than Jaken. And it's always fun to see how it drives him crazy.  
  
There were some other times, when you didn't act like a normal human being. Like when I attacked that dragon or that Naraku-descendant Kagura. You didn't seem to be scared. In the first case, you kept quite after I had told you to do so, although there were blood and pieces of dragon flesh all around you, and in the second case, you even smiled after Kagura had gone. You really don't seem to know fear."_  
  
She stirred a bit, making him giggle slightly, before he let out a long sigh.  
  
"_It's just crazy. I know you're human! I can see it with my own eyes and smell it with my own nose! So why do I still feel like you're not exactly human? Never knowing fear or regrets, living with demons and talking to them like to everyone else rather lets you seem like you're a demon yourself. But you ARE human! There's no demon blood within your veins, so why do you still look so familiar to me?  
  
It's crazy. You've got the body of a human, but your feelings, your soul, your heart are completely different, although you'd be somewhat... well, too friendly to be a real demon. So what are you, Rin? A human... with a demonheart?"_  
  
He shifted slightly, what accidentally awoke the girl next to him. She smiled up at the demon, her dark, sleepy eyes barely open. "Sesshomaru- sama?" Patting her head he returned the smile. "It's nothing, Rin. Just go back to sleep!" She nodded quickly, then fell back asleep.  
  
"_Whatever you are, Rin, you're neither human nor a demon... you're just... Rin. The cheerful, brave girl that lives with a demon. Just stay that way... just stay..."  
  
_Fin

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Well, read and review? 


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